Are You Haunted By Partners Past?

One thing that often happens, especially at the beginning of a new relationship, is that you are haunted by partners past. It can happen slowly, be very subtle, or hit you like a freight train. Either way, it is unsettling.

Truthfully I can't think of many things that stink more than thinking you are finally over your ex and ready to move on and meet someone great then, wham, there it is. You remember all the good times you and your ex used to have.

When you think you are ready to move on and start over, you again find you are haunted by partners past.

Are You Haunted By Partners Past

But what do you do if that happens? Or, more importantly, how can you ensure that never happens? I'm not sure you can ever totally guarantee that it will never happen.

I think the best we can do is to acknowledge that it is a possibility and try to prevent it from happening as much as possible. But, you may wonder, what can you do to ensure it won't happen or minimize the chances?

Here are some tips that may help you diminish the chance of these “ghosts” from the relationship past haunting your next relationship:

Be Honest With Yourself

The first one, also the most obvious, is to be as honest with yourself as possible and make sure that you are over your ex. At this stage, you might have the worst pain behind you, and you may be ready to start to live again.

That can be a tricky time, though, because when you get to this point, you may not be ready, but you may want to be prepared, so you convince yourself you are.

Friends Help

One great way to honestly determine if you are ready to start dating is to ask your friends. Ask them for their frank opinion.

They will pick up on all the times you still talk about your ex or other hints that you may drop that indicate you aren't over your ex and are ready to date again.

These things may not be as apparent to you as they are to your friends and family, so that is where you should start.

Don't Think About Your Ex.

How often do you still think about your ex? Only you can honestly answer this. If you are still thinking about them several times a day, you are most likely not ready to date yet.

Waiting until you are truly ready is the best way to ensure that you can commit to your new love and leave your old love where it belongs in the past.

Do not Compare Love

Make sure you aren't comparing one love with the other. You have changed, and the person you are dating is not the same person you were dating before. They will most likely have some similarities since you will be attracted to some of the same traits, but they are different people.

Learn to embrace the differences and not continually compare one to the other. Maybe the old love wasn't that great after all since the two of you couldn't make it work. Perhaps the traits of the new person will be a better fit for you – be willing to give them a chance.

These tips may make it easier for you to move on entirely, so you are haunted by partners past no more.

Editorial Staff

Editorial Staff

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