How to Spice Up Valentines Day by Loving Yourself

How to Spice Up Valentines Day by Loving Yourself

Another Valentine's day is upon us, and as we spread the love this month, how about starting right at home with spice up valentines day by loving yourself? Yes, I want to talk about loving yourself.

I am sure that you have encountered loads of people who, professionally and personally, tend to put the needs of others before themselves. For many, it is an integral aspect of their work, whereas some people learn that way of being during their younger years.

Take Note of Your Feelings

The various carers in our society learn how to minimize taking notice of their feelings to care for their clients and patients.

People who tend to drive themselves into fatigue, depression or even illness include:

  • Hospital doctors working ridiculously long hours
  • High-ranking city executives responding to their bosses
  • Mothers to their young children
  • Teachers within schools and colleges
  • Managers of large companies with lots of employees

Because of their beliefs about their role, people have habits of putting the needs of the company or client first. There can then come the point where these kinds of people do not even notice their feelings.

Where is the love? It is being expended everywhere else. I would go as far as to say that this is potentially dangerous.

This kind of attitude to oneself produces conscious and unconscious attempts to take care of the self in short-term ways or ways that are detrimental to our well-being, including smoking or drinking alcohol or overeating or doing the wrong things. These things replace the excellent, direct and long-term ways of caring for ourselves. People often try to give themselves quick treats, but in a way that can erode your self-esteem or your ability to attract love as you find that you cannot go without it, and also these things do not create natural good feelings most of the time.

So then what happens is that the teacher leaves the profession, the executive gets burnt out early, the nurse goes sick with constant illness, and the doctor chooses to work in a private clinic with regular hours and pleasant surroundings. All of these may well be valid, but if they are not the individual’s choice and forced decisions, it does nothing for your sense of self. Without a good understanding of self, it is hard to attract love.

So we want to spread some love.

Put Yourself First

Putting oneself first means that we are, of course, is a far better position to look after others. If we are fit and well and happy, we have plenty spare for others. We can give generously without minding. Putting time and energy into loving yourself is one of the most excellent investments you can make. So, we want to start getting you to notice you.

What do you like about yourself?

What is there to love about you? Is there someone in your life you genuinely admire or think a lot of? How about someone that you love? What is it about them that you like or love so much? Please stop and think about them for a moment. Think about the reason you like them so much.

I am sure that some of you may have responded with that old chestnut “I just do.” Whether consciously aware of it or not, there are more reasons than that. I am optimistic that you could come up with lists and lists of exceptional qualities that you find likable in others. Liking someone involves identifying and enjoying specific attributes you appreciate and think highly of.

This is why we end up liking people we are unlikely to meet but are in the public eye. You can respect someone without wanting them; picking them is to enjoy them.

Liking & Loving Yourself

This is very similar to the process of liking and loving oneself. Liking and loving come from having a true sense of self-acceptance; we do not have to be perfect model citizens. Your respect for yourself will increase once you know more about how you function and learn to accept yourself, even if you have issues or defects now and then.

Now think of famous public figures. Very often, one thing that continues to draw people to them is not their accomplishments but the fact that they have frailties and foibles. This is what so many of the popular glossy magazines focus on, showing the regular lives and problems of the famous and one of the reasons that people seem to be so drawn to reality television programs such as “Big Brother.” It is as if the message is, “look, they are just like us.” We see how human other people are.

Therefore, it is as if this process of being drawn to what makes us human and real shows us to be fallible at times. If this works between other people and us, it can also work inside ourselves. It can be a relief to allow ourselves to accept any limitations we may think we have and even become fond of them, even proud, as long as they are not interfering too much with our lives.

Enjoying being yourself this Valentine's day

That’s right, as of this Valentine's day, you are starting to enjoy yourself. It is where the love is. What are the things that you do want about the way you are? At the end of the day, when taking stock of your day, you can also take some time to ask yourself what you most loved about yourself today.

Do include everything, even if it was a small, supposedly non-important thing. Perhaps you wore a particular handkerchief (you must have bought one in a drawer somewhere that your great auntie bought you several Christmas ago!) because it matched a new shirt. Perhaps it was something you did, an enjoyable or beneficial interaction, or maybe it was even something you chose not to do or thought about. There are so many things to love about the way you have been today.

Make a List of Things

To get your love for yourself flowing this Valentine's day, go ahead and make an official list on a piece of paper with the heading ‘I love myself because….’ Then make another list that begins with ‘I love … about myself.’ Of course, you then have to add to those lists. Make a list of things that can show you all the beautiful things you love about yourself.

So think of the people you like and love the most and the people who like and love you the most. If they like you or love you, dare to trust that you are worth appreciating and well worth loving, and of course, you are worth giving some love to, and then dare to appreciate and love yourself as they do. Please go on, and I dare you! By the way, you do not have to only allow that love on yourself on Valentine's day, do it all the time and notice what an amazingly loving Valentine's day you have next year.

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